I got a Hoover vacuum cleaner and an Ab-Lounger for my wife for Christmas, any worse ideas?
you are dead
33 Responses to “I got a Hoover vacuum cleaner and an Ab-Lounger for my wife for Christmas, any worse ideas?”
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you are dead
May 24th, 2009 at 8:19 pm
Are you trying to get in the doghouse? Buy her a membership to Jenny Craig or Weight Watchers…
But not if you value you life…
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May 24th, 2009 at 9:01 pm
Seal-a-meals rank pretty high on the crappy present list.
As does soap.
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May 24th, 2009 at 9:45 pm
Give her a new workbench and some power tools.
<edit> After seeing J H's answer, I have no other option than to retract my suggestion.
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May 24th, 2009 at 10:07 pm
How about season tickets to YOUR favourite sports team games? ((Especially if you know she doesn't like them)
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You could add a little French Maid outfit and a whip, for a personal touch!
May 24th, 2009 at 10:25 pm
Feminine deodarant, douche…anything from the dollar section at Target.
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May 24th, 2009 at 11:09 pm
buy her a playboy subscription!
hey what's wrong with your gifts,,,sounds like what I ask for .. but I would want an Dyson not a hoover!..
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May 24th, 2009 at 11:49 pm
How about a nice lawn mower? Or season tix to your favorite sport?
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May 25th, 2009 at 12:35 am
a boob job !!
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May 25th, 2009 at 1:00 am
you should get her some rubber cleaning gloves so she can keep the house clean just as god intended
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May 25th, 2009 at 1:05 am
On the other hand, I bet she'd enjoy a new vibrator.
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May 25th, 2009 at 1:23 am
you are dead
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May 25th, 2009 at 1:41 am
how about clothes to let her know how much weight she's gained.
a cook book to tell her she cant cook
sorry I cant beat Green Eye's suggestions
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May 25th, 2009 at 2:09 am
how about a serving tray & a pair of tennis shoes?
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May 25th, 2009 at 2:28 am
Are you trying to tell your wife something? Like, maybe you'd like a divorce? If not, I'd suggest buying her some nice lingerie (most girls like Victoria's Secret) or a gift card to her favorite store to go along with these "gifts." Honestly, if you give her something to use so she can cook, clean or otherwise take care of you, you are telling her that it's primarily as your housekeeper that you see her. That being said, if you two REALLY need a vacuum cleaner and she's picked it out and everything, that's great. Just be sure to get her something for her alone, without regard to you, your needs, your kids (if any) or household.
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May 25th, 2009 at 2:45 am
I'm getting my boyfriend a card that starts out "It's not you, it's me…" and a year subscription to match.com.
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May 25th, 2009 at 3:13 am
Oh my……..
The ab-lounger REALLY sucks. Not that its a bad gift idea, but the product itself is a piece of clumsy junk.
I actually have work-out related items on my wish list every year!!
You could get her a weed whacker or hedge trimmer….
singing lessons
cooking classes
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May 25th, 2009 at 3:31 am
Het her an Xbox and all of your favorite games!
And LMAO at Nea!!
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May 25th, 2009 at 4:13 am
how about the book '101 things to do before you die'
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May 25th, 2009 at 4:55 am
Reckon you will be around for her to claim on the income tax?
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May 25th, 2009 at 5:34 am
Wrinkle cream?
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May 25th, 2009 at 6:21 am
A pearl button up mumu, and perhaps you should ask for a gift certificate for a divorce lawyer,cause you are going to need it,,lol
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May 25th, 2009 at 6:49 am
buy her a box of tissues so she can wipe her tears when she realizes u think shes fat and should clean up more. good job
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May 25th, 2009 at 7:12 am
a set of snow tires should round off the gift list
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May 25th, 2009 at 7:52 am
A cast iron skillet, to hit you upside of your head and the ugliest most unshapely housecoat that you can find to tell her that you are exceeding embarrassed by her?
Good luck not getting kicked to the curb! (literally with her shoe connecting with where the good lord split ya)
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May 25th, 2009 at 8:18 am
tell her you have gone gay and that you want to stay married to her, so you have bought her a complete sex change operation for the sake of your marriage.
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May 25th, 2009 at 8:40 am
I recommend that you buy yourself a good pillow to make your subsequence stint of sleeping on the couch more comfortable.
Blenders are pretty high up on the list of demeaning and insulting gifts. Or just pretend you for got to get her anything…
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May 25th, 2009 at 9:22 am
Hide all her shoes. You can tell her that the gift is the ability to be "barefoot in the kitchen at all times".
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May 25th, 2009 at 10:00 am
Ooh. You're cruising for an @ss whoopin this holiday season, aren't you?
Go for the gusto and give her a sexy black lacy ~ girdle.
You should let us know in advance where to send flowers for your funeral.
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May 25th, 2009 at 10:48 am
8-track I'd suggest the Witness protection program but I hear that it's full of Republican snitches. So, you're on your own my friend. Next year, get her what she wants. LOL Actualy there IS still time if you search hard, you should be able to find it.
BB,
Raji the Green Witch
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May 25th, 2009 at 10:54 am
Well, perhaps buy her fine jewelry and leather.
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May 25th, 2009 at 11:26 am
Go get one of those ring boxes, and put the key to your new John Deere inside it.
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May 25th, 2009 at 12:06 pm
A rolling pin, that way she cam lam the he– out of you. Oh, and while you are at it, buy yourself some tape for your eyelids to hold your eyes open when you sleep. That way you can see it coming!.
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May 25th, 2009 at 12:51 pm
I would suggest calling QVC and ordering your Aerobed inflatable bed, with a credit card , so you can guarantee delivery before Christmas.
That way after Christmas your @ss will have a nice place to sleep.
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