I got a Hoover vacuum cleaner and an Ab-Lounger for my wife for Christmas, any worse ideas?


you are dead


33 Responses to “I got a Hoover vacuum cleaner and an Ab-Lounger for my wife for Christmas, any worse ideas?”

  1. Green Eyes Says:

    Are you trying to get in the doghouse? Buy her a membership to Jenny Craig or Weight Watchers…

    But not if you value you life…
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  2. queen of snarky-yack again Says:

    Seal-a-meals rank pretty high on the crappy present list.
    As does soap.
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  3. brother_manuel AM™ Scoffer Says:

    Give her a new workbench and some power tools.

    <edit> After seeing J H's answer, I have no other option than to retract my suggestion.
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  4. suzyQ Says:

    How about season tickets to YOUR favourite sports team games? ((Especially if you know she doesn't like them)
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    You could add a little French Maid outfit and a whip, for a personal touch!

  5. Gracielacey Says:

    Feminine deodarant, douche…anything from the dollar section at Target.
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  6. Eileen J Says:

    buy her a playboy subscription!

    hey what's wrong with your gifts,,,sounds like what I ask for .. but I would want an Dyson not a hoover!..
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  7. Butterfly Lover Says:

    How about a nice lawn mower? Or season tix to your favorite sport?
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  8. J H Says:

    a boob job !!
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  9. Ando Says:

    you should get her some rubber cleaning gloves so she can keep the house clean just as god intended
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  10. Biggie Says:

    On the other hand, I bet she'd enjoy a new vibrator.
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  11. bregweidd Says:

    you are dead
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  12. *D* Says:

    how about clothes to let her know how much weight she's gained.

    a cook book to tell her she cant cook

    sorry I cant beat Green Eye's suggestions
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  13. swashbuckler82 Says:

    how about a serving tray & a pair of tennis shoes?
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  14. chick2lit Says:

    Are you trying to tell your wife something? Like, maybe you'd like a divorce? If not, I'd suggest buying her some nice lingerie (most girls like Victoria's Secret) or a gift card to her favorite store to go along with these "gifts." Honestly, if you give her something to use so she can cook, clean or otherwise take care of you, you are telling her that it's primarily as your housekeeper that you see her. That being said, if you two REALLY need a vacuum cleaner and she's picked it out and everything, that's great. Just be sure to get her something for her alone, without regard to you, your needs, your kids (if any) or household.
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  15. Nea, sinnier than you Says:

    I'm getting my boyfriend a card that starts out "It's not you, it's me…" and a year subscription to match.com.
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  16. crazymama Says:

    Oh my……..
    The ab-lounger REALLY sucks. Not that its a bad gift idea, but the product itself is a piece of clumsy junk.
    I actually have work-out related items on my wish list every year!!
    You could get her a weed whacker or hedge trimmer….
    singing lessons
    cooking classes
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  17. Armless Joe F: Consigliere Says:

    Het her an Xbox and all of your favorite games!

    And LMAO at Nea!!
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  18. Holy Smoked Says:

    how about the book '101 things to do before you die'
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  19. The Sinniest Fallen Angel© VT Says:

    Reckon you will be around for her to claim on the income tax?
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  20. CrankyYankee Says:

    Wrinkle cream?
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  21. marji2busy Says:

    A pearl button up mumu, and perhaps you should ask for a gift certificate for a divorce lawyer,cause you are going to need it,,lol
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  22. alicia Says:

    buy her a box of tissues so she can wipe her tears when she realizes u think shes fat and should clean up more. good job ;)
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  23. murrayc Says:

    a set of snow tires should round off the gift list
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  24. happy2luvk9s Says:

    A cast iron skillet, to hit you upside of your head and the ugliest most unshapely housecoat that you can find to tell her that you are exceeding embarrassed by her?

    Good luck not getting kicked to the curb! (literally with her shoe connecting with where the good lord split ya)
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  25. Lady Morgana Says:

    tell her you have gone gay and that you want to stay married to her, so you have bought her a complete sex change operation for the sake of your marriage.
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  26. Tash {Hugs Brigade~VT~AM} Says:

    I recommend that you buy yourself a good pillow to make your subsequence stint of sleeping on the couch more comfortable.

    Blenders are pretty high up on the list of demeaning and insulting gifts. Or just pretend you for got to get her anything…
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  27. ZC™ AM© VT® Says:

    Hide all her shoes. You can tell her that the gift is the ability to be "barefoot in the kitchen at all times".
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  28. Peace Yo Says:

    Ooh. You're cruising for an @ss whoopin this holiday season, aren't you?

    Go for the gusto and give her a sexy black lacy ~ girdle.

    You should let us know in advance where to send flowers for your funeral.
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  29. Raji the Green Witch Says:

    8-track I'd suggest the Witness protection program but I hear that it's full of Republican snitches. So, you're on your own my friend. Next year, get her what she wants. LOL Actualy there IS still time if you search hard, you should be able to find it.

    BB,
    Raji the Green Witch
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  30. Sara Says:

    Well, perhaps buy her fine jewelry and leather.
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  31. TNguy38 Says:

    Go get one of those ring boxes, and put the key to your new John Deere inside it.
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  32. tirzah c Says:

    A rolling pin, that way she cam lam the he– out of you. Oh, and while you are at it, buy yourself some tape for your eyelids to hold your eyes open when you sleep. That way you can see it coming!.
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  33. JP Says:

    I would suggest calling QVC and ordering your Aerobed inflatable bed, with a credit card , so you can guarantee delivery before Christmas.
    That way after Christmas your @ss will have a nice place to sleep.
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Posted on May 24th, 2009 by admin and filed under Uncategorized | 33 Comments »
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